Divine Intimacy

December was a challenging time for me. With an acute sinus infection, I was sicker than I can ever remember being in my life. About ten days into it, I ended up dehydrated and worse with fever and intense pain wracking my head and body. My partner, Jeff, ended up taking me to the hospital because I was in so much pain. I tell you all this because it leads to something I hadn’t thought of as being very intimate. Being sick became a transformative process in our relationship and a very intimate one indeed.

First, I needed to let go. I wasn’t able to carry on the normal, every day tasks of running a household and caring for two teenage boys let alone preparing for the holidays. I had to let go of what that looked like—the expectations I had of others and myself. I had to ask for things I needed. I had to let someone care for me, which meant I had to let go of all the past relationships and how others weren’t able to show up for me during illness or surgeries long past or how I wasn’t able to ask for their help. I had to redefine the role I played in our relationship and the role my Beloved played. On one level he became the Father archetype with its core values in the forefront.

Carol Myss, in Sacred Contracts defines the archetype of Father as: talent for creating and initiating with the ability to oversee others. Characteristics of courage and protectiveness. A True Father guides and shields those under his care, sacrificing his own desires when that’s appropriate.

It felt foreign to me thinking of my Beloved in that role, carrying that energy, with me nonetheless, sure with his children, but not with me. Actually I was downright resistant to that thought at first. Now I understand more of Father from the viewpoint of an archetypal energy. There’s such a clearer, Divine understanding of what that means to me now. Sure, Jeff was in the role of Father, meaning protective, guiding, appropriately sacrificing, and yet still taking care of himself. I was relieved he was also taking care of himself. That was essential to me in letting him care for me.

I have not been in partnership with a man that truly defined the Light around this archetype…until now. I had not been in a partnership with someone I trusted to take care of me and still take care of himself…until now. I surrendered and he was present, loving me in what I felt was one of my weakest moments without resentment, judgment or expectation of some sort of payback. I learned to let go and welcome true, intimate support in my life. I am grateful for the gift and lessons this experience has brought. It has enhanced and expanded our Divine Intimacy!